this is a note for all the sane, well adjusted people out there that have a friend, partner, and, god forbid, a relative that is for some inexplicable reason, depressed. no, this is not having a blue day, this is about depression.
the most common (as in knee jerk) responses are: “i love you”, “i care”, “you’re not alone in this”, “i’m not going to leave/abandon you”, “do you want a hug?”.
at this time, please take a deep breath in, exhale and reflect for a moment on the world we now live in, look at that list and throw that shit out; let’s get real.
doctors have been devising drugs, treatments…yeah. or should i say…yah!…?
the last year has been a fucking nightmare. on the bright side, some have discovered new talents: baking , painting, diying (whatever the hell that is), eating, bing watching well anything, and there’s loads of social media shit.
more than ten souls have discovered doubt on a level.
those ten souls, alone for…a period of time, remembering all the times others have said; ‘i love you’…and it is heard, as the twenty-first century for ‘thanks’, ‘have a wonderful day’.
sane, well adjusted schmucks may, hopefully, not have experienced the descending spiral of depression. not the same for all. hey we’re all unique…in every fucking way.
you can google or bing support for poor souls that are depressed, but, news flash: google (or bing) have never been depressed (or happy as far as i know) and neither have the authors of the platitudes ( i.e;when questioned on the origin of depression, a co-developer of prozac responded: “if the human brain were simple enough to understand, we’d be to simple to understand it.”). and just what the fuck does that even mean.
depression is hell. you can not imagine hell; it is beyond comprehension/imagination. there are an infinite number of hells.
i will tell you now, straight up, if you want to help some soul you think is depressed – cause you ain’t gonna really know right? – meditate on these and understand it ain’t gonna be over in a minute.
you might begin with some thing like this: “i’m sorry you’re in so much pain. i’m not going to leave you. i’m going to take care of myself so you don’t have to worry about your pain hurting me.” for those rare times when you can be there.
“i can’t imagine what you’re feeling, but i’m here i’ll listen, and i’ll try to understand. i will listen.” if you choose to use this: mean it; commit, be open, remember you have no fucking idea what that soul feels but you’re going to try. you will also understand love on a new level.
“you are so, wonderfully…you.” self explanatory.
“i’m here.” and fuckin’ be there; check in…laugh when you call, drop by (really, now).
forget the crap about ‘draw-them-out’ (fresh meat for dinner) be there for the time they invite you in – the object here, for all you sane/well adjusted simpletons, is a meeting of the minds…a doubt, a fear, a pain shared and for that instant you know that soul, that soul. and that soul knows yours. you are then there for that soul.
for all the wonderful sw-a folks out there – you be souls too. all souls trying to understand other souls…arrogant shits, as soon as the word “understand” enters the conversation (in this context) you may immediately insert the word “judge” and or “rate”.
the meeting of the minds we discussed, i discussed, earlier, that shared moment of a doubt, a fear, a pain…you have to examine/feel that all over again you have to expose yourself to your soul. take an instantaneous stroll through real ‘discomfort’ (you’re gonna know white hot searing pain – just for a tiny bit).
there you have the off the cuff, very non-medical perspective on dealing with those other souls that may be approaching or in depression.
wanting to ‘help’ a depressed soul is a shitty way to start…’you’ are looking for recognition/praise for your good works. in the words of the bard; “fuck you and the white horse you rode in on.” (Lenny Bruce)
you may reach out (that is not the same as ‘helping’, idiot), but only if you are real and that’s the hard part. you must,must put the shit aside look at you, the mistakes, the shame, pain all the real things that you hide away…and show them off. do all that you can…to be honest.
when you hit honest, there may be tears…that’s good, alone or in the company of that other depressed soul. it means you’re a fucking human, enjoy.
Shed the fucking shit, be you, do good.